First things first, the hog needs a name.
The Porcine Terror of Percy Priest? The Cane Ridge Hog Monster?
Whatever it’s called, it’s a problem.
Folks along Daisy Lane down in Antioch are being downright terrorized by what residents describe as a “wild boar.”
Feral pigs, indeed, are a growing problem. The local Fox TV affiliate did a whole series on the Midstate’s growing Pumbaa Problem. It looked terrifying. That the series aired during sweeps, of course, should
not diminish our collective fright of being overrun by herds of interbred wild boars and domestic hogs.
These piggies are not Wilbur. They are not cute. They cannot talk (not yet, at least — keep on eye on WZTV in, say, February, for an update). They are mean, and they will tear up your garden. You probably need to go to some sort of hunting school to protect yourself and your entire family, lest we all become servants of our new tusked and snouted masters.
But for the most part, these wild hogs have kept their distance, confined to the suburbs and the ring counties. Lo, now they are in Antioch.
Metro Animal Control has been out to Daisy Lane a handful of times to track down the swine described by neighbors as “hip height” and “weighing 300 pounds.” It has a face like a boar, they say, and the body of a pot-bellied, those precious piggies people keep as pets.
In fact, Animal Control insists that the roaming beast is, in fact, a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. The physical description supports that analysis — wild boars would hardly reach hip height on their hind legs and usually weigh in under 300 lbs., unlike the pot-bellied pig.
Those Metro officials feel fairly confident that south Nashville’s Swine Terror is sui generis, just a pet with a propensity for escape. It’s unlikely to charge a human and doesn’t roll with a crew.
But folks in Antioch should keep a wary eye anyway. Animal Farm taught us all what it’s like when the pigs get organized.