Burch: GOP would deny women access to aspirin!

Thursday, March 8, 2012 at 10:05pm
By Michael R. Burch

Having done its damndest to limit women’s access to “the pill,” due to the alpha male assumption that not having to worry about becoming pregnant turns American women into “sluts,” “prostitutes” and “feminazis” (to borrow a few polite terms from that oracle of wisdom and tolerance, Rush Limbaugh), the Grand Old Party has now set its sights on preventing women from using more mundane medicines, like aspirin.

While this may seem completely and utterly ridiculous at first glance, it actually makes perfect sense to Republican theocrats. After all, if it’s clearly wrong to defy God’s will that women become pregnant as often as possible, then it is also obviously wrong to defy his will that they suffer as much as possible. The Bible clearly says that women’s labor pains are the express will of God, so how can Bible-believing doctors and nurses be allowed to give women aspirin, epidurals and other pain relievers?

If God wants women to suffer the most excruciating pains imaginable, then by God the GOP’s evangelicals are duty-bound to make that happen!

Freedom of religion as interpreted by conservative Christians demands that doctors with religious beliefs be allowed to deny women abortions and contraceptives, so of course freedom of religion also demands that doctors and nurses who believe the Bible should also be allowed to deny women pain relievers. And while they’re at it, they should also be able to either murder or sexually enslave girls who have been raped, since this was the express commandment of the great Hebrew prophet Moses, in Deuteronomy 22. Hell, they should even be able to sell their own daughters as sex slaves, with the option to buy them back if they don’t “please” their new masters — also the commandment of Moses in Exodus 21.

It all makes perfect sense, once we understand God’s perspective on the fairer sex: that they are fair game. This latest Republican attack on women is the only possible logical conclusion of alpha males reading and furiously believing an infallible holy text that treats women like chattels. If Yahweh wanted “men of God” like Moses, Joshua, Caleb and King David to either slaughter or enslave women, then obviously He has it out for women, probably because He’s still ticked off at Eve for eating the forbidden fruit.

This of course explains the antipathy “men of God” have had for women, through the ages.

Yahweh didn’t say that men have to suffer but only to sweat when they work, so the GOP will continue to allow men to use pain relievers. (Male chauvinists are amazingly good at locating and believing Bible verses that only affect women, homosexuals and people of other religions.)

So there you have it. The minute Rick Santorum is sworn into office, you can expect him to sign legislation that denies women the right to abortion, contraceptives and aspirin.

Now you may think that I’m pulling your leg — and I am — but this really is the way Republicans seem to “think” these days. First, they find a Bible verse that appeals to them. (Never one of the good verses about the rich helping the poor or men like themselves avoiding hypocrisy.) Then they “believe” in the verse furiously until it hurts — not only their tiny, impaired brains but the whole planet. Thus, “be fruitful and multiply” becomes “breed mindlessly like rabbits and never use contraceptives because only God is allowed to determine when babies will be born.”

The theocrats can never question their a priori assumption that the Bible is infallible, because if the Bible isn’t infallible, we all have to fall back on listening to our hearts and using our powers of reason. The truly puzzling thing is why they keep choosing to believe in the worst possible verses.

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

68 Comments on this post:

By: Loner on 3/9/12 at 1:02

Mike wrote: Rush Limbaugh's name proved prophetic: He rushed out on a delicate limb (women's rights), the bough broke, and now he's a goner.

That's good writing....might I add: And when the bough breaks, the addled will fall, down will come Limbaugh, addled and all.

By: Loner on 3/9/12 at 1:15

Yogi, Ms. Fluke never described herself as a "slut" or "prostitute". And you know that, you're yankin' our cranks.... again. But at least you're off the "usurper" rant...I guess this represents "progress"...from racism to misogyny....you are quite a character, Yogi.

By: BenDover on 3/9/12 at 2:26

Santorum's view on 'Right' to privacy.

http://www.rightwingnews.com/john/santorum.php

Santorum on Birth Control

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/17/santorum-clarifies-birth-control-stance/

By: yogiman on 3/9/12 at 2:55

I beg to differ with you, Loner. Regardless of what your, and your poster friends have though about the presidential issue, racism has had nothing to do with the Obama issue. If you could use your brain for simple thinking instead of writing, you could have seen simple proof of eligibility is all that has been asked of the man going by the name Barack Obama. That's his name? Prove it.

Now, did I misunderstand what that young woman was saying when I heard her speak about the Limbaugh issue.

When she made the remark about getting $3,000 a year from the government's tax payers money to furnish them "protection", I could only think she was selling her "love" 8 times a day. No? What did she mean?

By: brrrrk on 3/9/12 at 3:06

yogiman said

"I beg to differ with you, Loner. Regardless of what your, and your poster friends have though about the presidential issue, racism has had nothing to do with the Obama issue. If you could use your brain for simple thinking instead of writing, you could have seen simple proof of eligibility is all that has been asked of the man going by the name Barack Obama."

Yeah, anyway Loner.... haven't we all seen all the posts where yogi has demanded to see the birth certificates and college transcript of ALL the republican candidates? Wait......

By: yogiman on 3/9/12 at 3:40

brrrrk,

When a man is running for that office and has been known through his family history, there obviously shouldn't be a question about their legal eligibility. But when a man is running for that office with a foreign father and he refuses to give any information about himself, hell yes, that raises a question. But apparently not in that feeble mind of yours.

Why did he ask for John McCain's proof of eligibility and accepted his legal status because both of his parents were American citizens. Why did he then refuse to show his own birth certificate?

McCain was given the okay because both of his parents were American citizens. Get that, brrrrk? Both of them, not just a teenage mother who was too young to pass her citizenship down to her son by the laws of 1961.

By: yogiman on 3/9/12 at 3:46

brrrrk,

Wanna see a good TV show? Check out www.art2superpac.com/joe.html

You should enjoy it.

By: dargent7 on 3/9/12 at 4:11

Why anyone engages in a "discussion" with Paul Wade, aka, "yogi" is beyond me.
You'd get a more meaningful argument with Charles Manson, on Death Row for 45 years.
He's a better, more informed, class of people.
Plain and simple, the idiot still says Barack Obama never had to produce a Birth Cert., a Cert. of Live Birth, to get into Punahou H.S., Occidental College, Columbia University, Harvard University, Harvard Law, the IL State Senate, and now the office of President.
He just came to Earth, in a spaceship. Quite a feat, as a black man.
I can't think of one white man who's done all that. And we white folk get alliances, exemptions, and passes, every step of the way.

By: yogiman on 3/9/12 at 5:46

I'm afraid you've made a mistake on who's an idiot, dargent7. When, and where, did I "say" Barack Obama never had to produce a Birth Certificate and you other documents he claims to have.

I've never said he didn't have to produce them, I've been saying he should produce them. I believe you're the idiot in this case by accepting someone as the President of this nation when you don't even know who the man is.

Grow up, dargent7. Try to become a little more mature. Check out that investigation on this issue.

By: Moonglow1 on 3/9/12 at 5:52

Moonglow1: To Mike Burch. Mike, I understand your point about "why Rush matters. " And I agree with your point. I was being somewhat sarcastic meaning: it is a sad commentary on the state of our nation when someone like Rush matters. He does represent the current Republican party.

By: Moonglow1 on 3/9/12 at 6:00

Moonglow1: Dargent, Ancient Aliens is on the History 2 channel tonight. Perhaps the story line will be "How Aliens Installed Obama in the White House. New information to be provided on how these aliens fooled the CIA by providing a fake Birth Certificate for Obama." Yogi, you might want to watch the show!!

By: yogiman on 3/9/12 at 9:35

I must be on a different history channel than you, Moonglow1. But what might be a better show for you is www.art2superpac.com/joe.html. You might enjoy.

A couple of other "funny" shows you might like you'll find on Bing or Google.
Check 'The Government can - Tim Hawkins or Dinesh D'Souza - Obama & 2016.

By: Ask01 on 3/10/12 at 4:00

I believe myself to be an average citizen, of at least average intelligence possessing the ability to think and analyze a situation, reaching a conclusion after considering all the facts available.

I cannot and will not speak for any other group, but the people with whom I work and know well enough to risk discussing politics regard the current GOP candidates as a reincarnation of the Keystone Kops.

My co-workers and acquaintances represent the average working class citizen. They are concerned with keeping a roof over their head and paying their bills. Educating and providing for their children is a major concern.

Right now, if the election were held tomorrow, I have to cede the point made earlier that President Obama will waltz to a second term. Considering the contempt in which many hold the GOP, I believe there is an excellent chance he will gain supporters in both the House and Senate since, as I have been warning for some time, the electorate is very, very angry.

I've been called many names, had my intelligence and legitimacy questioned, and in general bad mouthed for sounding the alarm, and suspect such will continue, but so be it.

If these shadows remain unchanged, the GOP will have shot itself in the foot and be left bleeding to death after the election.

Note to self: invest in large theater size popcorn maker. This could be a great show watching the self destruction of a major political party.

By: yogiman on 3/10/12 at 4:28

Welcome to the club, Ask01.

Unlike so many of the Obama "patriots" on this site, you seem to have enough common sense to look into a matter before making a sensible determination.

I believe these primaries are just the beginning of the game. But if the man sitting in the office now is "re-elected", you can kiss the USA goodbye.

One only has to go back a few decades of history and look at the difference of the operations of the office by whomever was in there. Obviously, not a lot of difference. It's like a cumma see, cumma saw of whoever is in the office.

The biggest fact today is why so many are so willing to accept someone as their president whom they really don't even know, and who refuses to identify himself, and I'm ridiculed for my claims about the man. As I say, time will tell.

Take a look into www.evidencevault.blogspot.com. Interesting.

By: yogiman on 3/10/12 at 4:29

Welcome to the club, Ask01.

Unlike so many of the Obama "patriots" on this site, you seem to have enough common sense to look into a matter before making a sensible determination.

I believe these primaries are just the beginning of the game. But if the man sitting in the office now is "re-elected", you can kiss the USA goodbye.

One only has to go back a few decades of history and look at the difference of the operations of the office by whomever was in there. Obviously, not a lot of difference. It's like a cumma see, cumma saw of whoever is in the office.

The biggest fact today is why so many are so willing to accept someone as their president whom they really don't even know, and who refuses to identify himself, and I'm ridiculed for my claims about the man. As I say, time will tell.

Take a look into www.evidencevault.blogspot.com. Interesting.

By: yogiman on 3/10/12 at 4:32

darnit, I hit that button twice. But its okay to read it twice.

By: BenDover on 3/11/12 at 8:00

Ask... I don't necessarily disagree with your assessment except your point that it is the republicans who have shot themselves in the foot. This, instead, is the result of a media that accentuates the negative and eliminates the positive in everything conservative. It's the same media that cheer-leaded the unvetted Jr Senator from Illinois to victory in '08 and who refuses to objectively report on the state of that disaster.

There have been some unforced errors by the repubs but if viewed in reasonable perspective against a balanced critique of the current administration it should be a cake-walk for them to take the White-House and both houses of congress.

We are looking entirely at a media margin here.

By: yogiman on 3/11/12 at 11:34

Gonna vote? If you haven't already seen it, Check youtube.com/watch?v=ojmOESqVeak&feature=youtu.be

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