Burch: Local yokel embarrasses state

Friday, August 2, 2013 at 4:56pm
By Michael R. Burch

As reported by the Chattanooga Times Free Press, Tennessee Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, a Tea Party conservative, is doing his best to keep our state a national laughingstock.

Fleischmann’s smug mug on his Wikipedia page reminds me of George W. Bush, while his equally atrocious mangling of the English language makes me wonder if they might have the same Neanderthals in their bloodlines.

I say this because Fleischmann recently sent President Obama an embarrassing “postcard” regarding his Chattanooga visit. The “postcard” was delivered to the media, but was addressed to the president. It said, and I quote, with my suggested revisions in brackets:

Mr. President,

Welcome to beautiful Chattanooga. We appreciate [that] you are in town, celebriting [celebrating] the businesses that have come to Tennessee thanks to our low regulation [business-friendly regulations], low taxes, and right to work policies. While [you are] here, I invite you to visist [visit] a few historial [historical and] natural attractions like [such as] Ruby Falls, a true Chattanooga treasure. However, Obamacare is making it difficult to maintain or [and] grow businesses [is Ruby Falls a “business” and can it “grow”?] of this size. Even though Tennessee’s strong leadership has put us in a better position than most [states,] we’re not immune to the burdens this policy is placing on Americans across the country.

Best,

Chuck Fleischmann

I am amazed that Fleischmann managed to spell his own name correctly. The “postcard” was addressed to the president at “1600 Pensylvannia [sic] Avenue.”

I suspect that the only A grades earned honestly by Fleischmann were the ones granted him by gun-happy special interest groups for supporting legislation which he described, in his Yoda-like language, as allowing “licensed firearm owners to carry out their God-given right more freely” because “the right to carry a firearm is a right that allows law-abiding citizens to protect themselves and is crucial to the freedom of our country.”

Fleischmann’s first vote in office was a “yea” on a 2011 motion to repeal Obamacare.

In November 2011, Fleischmann filed a bill of his own called the “Stop Green Initiative Abuse Act of 2011.” It would repeal the Department of Energy’s “Weatherization Assistance Program,” which helps low-income families reduce their energy consumption and bills by adding energy-efficient caulking and insulation to their homes.

Fleischmann also voted for a bill that encourages the display of “In God We Trust” in public buildings and schools.

It would be nice if Fleischmann was as avid about education and good writing as he is about guns, “god” and energy guzzling. As the Chattanooga Times article pointed out, fewer than half the Hamilton County students in grades three through eight are able to read at their grade level, according to standardized test results.

Like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry and other Tea Party politicians, Fleischmann somehow managed to become a political mover and shaker without knowing how to write grammatically and logically correct sentences. While it’s obviously terrible that so many Tennessee grade schoolers are below average, education-wise, at least they’re not trying to run the country. I’m afraid the only place someone like Fleischmann can run the country is further into the ground.

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

Filed under: City Voices
Tagged: Michael Burch

86 Comments on this post:

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 9:55

After careful screening, I have found another Nemo mistake:

By: Captain Nemo on 8/3/13 at 7:49
You have never giving any proof of any thing Comrade yogi. The only evidence you have given is that you have no knowledge of American History. Your North Korean handlers fail in your training or perhaps it is that your are to stupid to learn..

"or perhaps it is that your (s/h/b you're or you are) to (s/h/b too) stupid to learn.. " (2 periods are not necessary even for you to end a sentence Nemo.

Again, we're giving you a 50 so you can improve your self esteem. 50 - the new Metro 0!

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 9:57

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 9:49
The old hag (or is that hog) trying to be a spelling teacher! That is the joke for the day.

You are the old hag/hog, bfra. Nice try, but it did not work. Admit the truth, Nemo makes mistakes just like everyone else. So stop your "holier than thou" gibberish.

It "ain't" working for ya'll any longer.

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 10:01

It would be nice if Fleischmann was as avid about education and good writing as he is about guns, “god” and energy guzzling. As the Chattanooga Times article pointed out, fewer than half the Hamilton County students in grades three through eight are able to read at their grade level, according to standardized test results.

Mr. Burch, maybe the Hamilton County authorities need to adopt the new Metro No 0 plan and give those kids a 50 to improve their self esteem. Or maybe their parents could work with them at home to improve their reading ability. Love and education both start at home.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 10:05

Again the hag (or hog) is trying to give instructions on something she knows nothing about. Parenting!

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 10:19

"According to Research for Practice by Elizabeth H. Winslow and Ann F. Jacobson, The American Journal of Nursing, Vol. 98, No. 7 (Jul., 1998), pp. 55+57 http://www.jstor.org/pss/3471613
.
"Summarizing several studies done in the United States and Canada, the average reading skill level was estimated to be at around the 8th to 9th grade (University of Utah Health Sciences Center). However, this same study found that about one in five adults had a reading skill level at the 5th grade level or below."http://www.humanfactors.com/downloads/jun02.asp
.
But it's interesting to note that:
• many newspapers and magazines are written to a 9th grade level;
• USA Today, New York Times, and the New Yorker are written to a 10th grade level;
• The Times of India is the least readable, at a 15th grade level.
• John Grisham, Tom Clancy, Michael Crichton, Stephen King, and Clive Cussler write at a 7th grade level;
• Romance novels are often written at a 5th grade level
http://www.impact-information.com/impactinfo/newsletter/plwork15.htm"

Mike it would seem that many people are deficient in reading and comprehension skills in the US, especially if you Google reading levels in the U.S. Unfortunately the U.S. Government does a lot of research in the subject and who can trust the government any longer? They even mention in one study I read that states with large populations of "immigrants" have a lower level. Well that is a given. If the study is in English and the immigrant is not proficient yet, what does the government expect? They should do the study in the immigrant's respective language -- or not include them in the overall study.

Notice the Times of India written to 15 grade; their education system must be very advanced. I bet South Korea is up there also.

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 10:22

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 10:05
Again the hag (or hog) is trying to give instructions on something she knows nothing about. Parenting!

And you are an authority on Parenting and me! Give that poster a round of applause! Yeah, I heard about your parenting recently. It's high on the scale. (Fish scale, that is) Now crawl back into your cave and stop polluting the airways. You and Nemo both.

By: brrrrk on 8/5/13 at 10:42

Mike,

Your expectations of the Tennessee education system are ridiculous. As I've said before, the only things that Tennesseans are interested in teaching their kids are 1) how to pull a trigger, 2) how to bitch about the "guvment", and 3) how to count the number of wins that UT had last season (and that only takes one hand!!).

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 10:44

sidiot - I am the proud parent of 3 very successful children. What are you the parent of? Try talking about something you are knowledgeable of, trolls.

By: brrrrk on 8/5/13 at 10:51

bfra said on 8/5/13 at 10:44

"sidiot - I am the proud parent of 3 very successful children. What are you the parent of? Try talking about something you are knowledgeable of, trolls."

I heard Sidney once raised bread.....

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 10:51

bfra, that is what YOU SAY, but you can say anything on this post because you hide behind your 4 letter screen ID. Not a real validation point, now is it? So prove it. See, you can't prove it because anyone who backs you up on this post, could be lying - also!

I don't need to have your approval of my parenting skills -- or any other skills for that matter.

Again, you don't know me. And you don't know Jack or squat! Talk about something you are knowledgeable about, hogwash and hog pens, you old sow!

By: brrrrk on 8/5/13 at 11:06

budlight said on 8/5/13 at 10:51

"bfra, that is what YOU SAY, but you can say anything on this post because you hide behind your 4 letter screen ID."

Geez bfra, what a jerk you are. Everyone here knows that it's your fault that bud was dumb enough to expose her real identity. Geez, get over yourself already!!!!

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 11:22

bfra and brrrrk have a BS, MS and PhD (Bullsh**, Moresh** and Piled High and Deeper from the school of Litoem and Cheatem.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 11:24

Yeah! I caused her to post her fatbellied picture with her baldy husband and then tell everybody to look at it! My bad!

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 11:26

OOOH! sidiot is getting her dander up! Puff, puff, hoot, hoot

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 11:37

no, bfra, I'm not getting my dander up, nor are you getting my dander up. You can't stand life unless you are stirring up a pot of pooh! You and your ilk, brrrrk. You are either a trust fund baby or on the gov'ment dole. Either way, you don't work for an honest dollar. My husband is off limits for your vile! And when you talk about bald people, be careful, you may wish to be bald yourself some day. So have a nice day and be nice for a change.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 11:46

sidiot - You would do better to curtail your name calling while trying to come across as a holier than thou Christian. As for government dole, isn't that what you stay on, one way or the other? All of this is coming from what you, yourself has put on the board. I know enough of your neighbors to know you are just a wannabe.

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 12:48

No, you do not know any of my neighbors. You live in a fantasy land and make up things, so please, spare me your myths.

Well, you should know about holier than thou Christians. And remember, no Christian is perfect . . . you should know.

No dole here. I work for every penny I make. And you? Is your career harrassing people on line cause that's all you seem to do.

bfra, the ball is in your empty court now!

By: Captain Nemo on 8/5/13 at 1:58

Did you loss your job again ,COW. You seem to be on this board a lot today.

By: yogiman on 8/5/13 at 2:04

It's funny budlight, they all seem to have enough time on this board to harass you as unemployed because you (as they say) spend so much time on this board. Yet they all seem to have more time than you on this board.

If they're working an honest job, how can they take so much time "on the job" to make their comments on this board?

They all seem to have to go home at 5PM so how much honest time did they spend on their job. It sure isn't 8 hours.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 2:08

Denials are your cup of tea, but that doesn't change facts. The ball is still in your corner & don't double dribble, that is against the rules.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 2:10

Brainless blob, you are not the only one retired or like sidiot, libing off the government. You do not know a thing about most posters lives because unlike you & the idiot, we don't splash our personal lives all over a public forum.

By: Captain Nemo on 8/5/13 at 2:11

Stupid yogi have figure out what the subject is for today?

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 2:17

s/h/b/ living, but on second thought if libing is FREE sid is working of getting that, too.

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 3:09

bfra on 8/5/13 at 2:10
Brainless blob, you are not the only one retired or like sidiot, libing off the government. You do not know a thing about most posters lives because unlike you & the idiot, we don't splash our personal lives all over a public forum.

Becky, becky, becky. Where are you becky? Are you a southern bell, a ding-a-ling bell or just a tinker bell?

What does "working of getting that, too" mean? Capt. what does "yogi have figure out" mean? You people need to proofread your work.

And we know ya'll all drink cause that's all most of you people talk about. I have not posted any personal information that isn't in the book. Remember becky, privacy fences have to be 6' maximum, but there is no minimum in the bylaws.

Note to becky: How's Victoria? Julie" Stevie wonder? I'm still wondering about Stevie!

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 3:21

Silly sidiot! Po old potbellied thing doesn't like personal info she has plastered all over the internet to be mentioned. She doesn't even know a thing about privacy fences, but stupid brought them up for some reason. Silly sidiot, you are taling off that flat top head of yours.

By: yogiman on 8/5/13 at 4:52

Why are you so secretive on your identity bfra, ashamed of yourself and don't want anyone to know just who in the hell you are? Can't say I blame you.

And I sure wish you could tell me how your man Barry became a natural born American citizen. Just give me your facts and calling me a liar was justified. Don't have any facts? Okay, just keep proving your ignorance by calling me a liar.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 5:01

By: yogiman on 8/5/13 at 4:52

Why are you so secretive on your identity bfra
====================================================

Because I am not stupid like you & sidiot! My friends & family know exactly who I am & that is what matters.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 5:06

sidiot must be a sot, always accusing someone else of drinking or being drumk. I have heard that is what sots do to cover up their own drinking.

By: pswindle on 8/5/13 at 5:09

What caused TN to go RED? At one time, if you were not a democrat you could not be elected.

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 5:14

Brainless blob, I heard you have been spending a lot of time in a banana tree lately. Has the baboon in you taken over more?

By: yogiman on 8/5/13 at 6:23

quit comparing me to yourself, bfra. I oppose that. I'm afraid my braid is so much superior to yours I know you voted for a usurper running under the democratic ticket.

Tell me, why did an idiot like you vote for a man who refused to identify himself. It wasn't until July 27th 2011 before he finally got his "put together" birth certificate information printed from over 9 pages of data. Mine was copied from only one page. How many pages did it take for them to print yours?

By: budlight on 8/5/13 at 7:53

By: bfra on 8/5/13 at 3:21
Silly sidiot! Po old potbellied thing doesn't like personal info she has plastered all over the internet to be mentioned. She doesn't even know a thing about privacy fences, but stupid brought them up for some reason. Silly sidiot, you are taling off that flat top head of yours

what's the matter; cat got becky's tongue? What do you know about privacy fences Becky? How's that Julie connection doing? Talk about a fence! Guess bfra is still in the closet!

By: foxman on 8/5/13 at 10:15

Burch you are a joke. Please leave my great state and do not ever come back.

By: sarcasm on 8/6/13 at 5:57

Liberals smart, conservatives stupid. Got it.

By: budlight on 8/6/13 at 6:12

Conservatives humble; liberals arrogant. Got it.

By: bfra on 8/6/13 at 9:10

What say FATTY with the baldy hubby?