Burch: Revenge of the rubes

Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 10:05pm
By Michael R. Burch

In movies like “Revenge of the Nerds,” the restive malcontents just want to be able to party and make out with attractive partners, like the alpha males and females. But Tennessee’s currently playing “Revenge of the Rubes” is much darker and far less likely to result in anyone having a good time for very long, even the social elites. (Need I mention the obvious, such as global warming, nation-bankrupting wars in the Middle East or first-graders being killed by hails of bullets fired from super-lethal military-style weapons?)

The rubes are angry — very angry — and like the Incredible Hulk, they are not at all likeable when they’re angry.

These are some of the things that frighten the rubes and make them so very angry: facts, science, logic, reason, people with darker skin, presidents with funny-sounding names, gays, feminists, liberals, union workers, atheists, agnostics and Muslims.

Now, like sharks when blood is present, the rubes are turning on their own kind. Take, for example, Lamar Alexander, who outshines Marsha Blackburn and Diane Black the way the sun eclipses the moon (by which I mean the dark side). The rubes dearly love Blackburn and Black because they vote in line with Republican positions an astounding 99 percent of the time. But Alexander, being a thinking man rather than an ideologue, has voted in concert with President Obama’s positions 62 percent of the time. To the rubes, that’s like Luke Skywalker going over to the Dark Side of the Force. So now they’re scheming to get rid of Alexander in the next election, in order to replace him with another political zombie.

Never mind that President Obama is correct in his political positions far more often than the increasingly intolerant and fascist GOP. The rubes have no interest in who is actually doing the right things according to human wisdom, because they are guided by faith, not reason. So they “know” that evolution is a lie; that global warming is a hoax; that stricter gun control is the path to totalitarianism; that every human pregnancy is ordained by an all-wise God; and that homosexuality incurs the wrath of God, and thus explains hurricanes and other natural disasters.

People who are overwhelmed by irrational fears seldom make the best possible choices. Now here in Tennessee we have hordes of hyperkinetic Chicken Littles running around fearfully clucking that the sky is falling, when in reality it is their childish fears of nonexistent monsters in the closet that present the greatest danger to our rights and liberty. If, for example, one citizen has the right to carry assault weapons wherever he pleases, with enough ammo to take out an entire school or theater, that more than obviously infringes on the rights of concerned mothers and fathers to know that their children are not being turned into targets in a shooting gallery.

If we see sane, reasonable leaders like Lamar Alexander being replaced by more irrational people like Black and Blackburn, we should not be surprised when the inevitable happens, and Tennessee continues its slide back toward the Dark Ages. If we want progress, it’s time to send the political rubes back to their farms, or better yet to the Funny Farm for some serious counseling.

[Note: After I submitted the article above to The City Paper, Marsha Blackburn almost immediately made me seem like a prophet by challenging President Obama to a skeet-shooting contest. At a time when the nation is still mourning the loss of 20 precious first-graders and the six courageous educators who died trying to defend them from yet another mad gunslinger, Tennessee’s “Ms. Inappropriate” wants to prove to the world that she can wreak more destruction on clay pigeons. Rather than trying to put an end to the carnage, she intends to wow the rubes and the NRA by demonstrating that she can out-shoot the opposition. Unbelievable.]

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

135 Comments on this post:

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 10:39

Loner, the Emperor of Japan, should have been hung, but one of the conditions of surrender, was that he remain in power.
Only as a figurehead of course, the Japanese people considered him a god, and the Japanese army peacefully surrendered their weapons, after assurances concerning the Emperor. Now they build better cars than we do.
Lincoln intended to forgive, and have a harmonious reconstruction, but Booth screwed that up. A large portion of the south in now occupied by northern transplants, we are still occupied by Yankee's.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 10:49

By: budlight on 2/1/13 at 10:32

At least I can laugh at myself which is something you all can't do cause you take yourselves too seriously.

The opposite of this is the truth, bud. If you ever could laugh at yourself the you would not be making an ass of yourself.

By: gdiafante on 2/1/13 at 10:51

Of course it was about slavery, Ben, it still is. Everything else is just a branch that has grown from the root.

You said it yourself, without the compromise legalizing slavery, there would be no country. Our Constitution is the result of the slavery issue. A lot of the political makeup of our country is the result of Reconstruction policies. The attitude towards minorities in this country is directly linked to white supremacy that was rampant, and still is.

There's no way to remove it. But let's not kid ourselves and invent some BS "states rights" issue to try and gloss over the fact. You can't move on until you admit there's a problem, and slavery was THE problem.

By: gdiafante on 2/1/13 at 10:52

Slack, I was in Okinawa when Hirohito passed. Got three days off during the mourning period...of course we weren't allowed to go off base or be seen by the locals...fine with me, the base package store was open and I had a VCR...

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 10:57

By: BenDover on 2/1/13 at 10:34

I'm not defending slavery. I abhor it. I'm just explaining that the real history behind this issue isn't a simple sugar-coated White Knight Lincoln vs Satan Spawn South.

You will have to admit Ben; Lincoln does come out to be more a White Knight and the Satan Spawn South not looking so good. I don’t think you can lay this on bad press, but that is what the South has done for years.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:03

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 10:39

Lincoln intended to forgive, and have a harmonious reconstruction, but Booth screwed that up. A large portion of the south in now occupied by northern transplants, we are still occupied by Yankee's.

Leave it to a southerner to make a bigger mess.

My late wife was from the north and she only occupied my heart.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 11:13

I agree, BenDover.

Slavery was one of the worst mistakes things our founders made. Not specifying the meaning of 'natural birth' in the requirements to become President. I can only presume back then, they were pretty much like we are today thinking everyone knows the answer. Yet we're have having a helluva argument about it.

Freeing the slaves was a huge advantage for out nation. Many brilliant people who have found amazing benefits were, and are, Negros. A man named John Hawkins has listed 25 quotes from black conservatives. I'll throw them at you a couple at a time. I don't want to occupy the "slick six"'s time too long.

"A woman who demand further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." - Larry Elder

"I've been to dozens of Tea Party rallies. I've given at least a half a dozen or more speeches. I have not yet to find the first racist comment or the first person who approaches me from a racist perspective. I will speak very clearly here. Racism is a part of a lot of things in our country. Good people in all organizations fundamentally; however, when you look at the basis of the Tea Party it has nothing to do with race. It has to do with an economic recovery. It has to do with limiting the role of our government in our lives. It has to do with free markets. How do you fight that? The only way you fight that is to create an emotional distraction called racism. It doesn't have to be real. It can be rhetoric but it gets the media focusing on something other than the truth of why the Tea Party is reasoning so well with the average person." - Tim Scott

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 11:14

I know Nemo.. I was jesting with Loner.
No offense intended to Yankee's.
Grits will set you free.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 11:19

I agree, slacker. We have Yankees everywhere now. When I moved in on my farm 40 years ago I was told only 5 families lived on my road. The last count I made, we now have 25. Most of them from Yankee land.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:23

What an insult to Ben when yogi uses him to sneak in a usurper post. LOL

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 11:30

You should pay attention to this one, guys: "Good manner will open doors that the best education cannot." - Clarence Thomas

"The say African Americans. I say black people. I've only been to Africa once. I've been in America all my life." - Herman Cain

"As the old saying goes, 'money is power' and the more money the government takes, the more power it has over individuals." - Angela McGlowan

"The government is not your salvation. The government is not your road to prosperity. Hard work, education will take you far beyond what any government program can ever promise." -Mia Love

"Liberals worry that what's best for the individual might not be better for the public at large. But that philosophy assumes something vicious about each and every one of us. It assumes we only care about ourselves." - Allen West

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 11:32

yogi needs to take a nap..
-slacker

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:34

I know you slacker. I was having fun too.

I heard a joke once; what strikes fear in the hearts of Southern? A Yankee with a U-Haul headed south.

The South hates educated people.

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 11:36

U-Haul.. the new carpet bag. lol

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:36

He has been asleep all of his life slacker, how would you know if he was napping?

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:38

LOL slacker.

By: slacker on 2/1/13 at 11:43

Gotta go.. Burch called me a rube and hurt my feelings.. sniff..sniff have a good weekend Nemo.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 11:45

You too slacker.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 12:07

That's why they "love" you so much, dumba$$. You obviously aren't very smart. I took a nap last night so I'm wide awake now and here's some more quotes by well known black Americans:

"Self esteem comes from achievements. Not from lax standards and false praise."
- Condi Rice

"If I have learned one thing from life, it is that race is the engine that drives the political Left.
When all else fails, that segment of America goes to the default position of using race to achieve its objectives. In the courtrooms, on college campuses, and, most especially, in our politics, race is a central theme. Where it does not naturally rise to the surface, there are those who will manufacture and amplify it." - Ward Connerly

"There is a simple maxim that I use to express this situation, 'when tolerance becomes a one way street, it leads to cultural suicide." - Allen West

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 12:21

That's why they "love" you so much, dumba$$. You obviously aren't very smart. I took a nap last night so I'm wide awake now and here's some more quotes by well known black Americans:

"Self esteem comes from achievements. Not from lax standards and false praise."
- Condi Rice

"If I have learned one thing from life, it is that race is the engine that drives the political Left.
When all else fails, that segment of America goes to the default position of using race to achieve its objectives. In the courtrooms, on college campuses, and, most especially, in our politics, race is a central theme. Where it does not naturally rise to the surface, there are those who will manufacture and amplify it." - Ward Connerly

"There is a simple maxim that I use to express this situation, 'when tolerance becomes a one way street, it leads to cultural suicide." - Allen West

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 12:22

Another great come back old fool. You just proved that you are asleep at the wheel.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 12:24

How can I be asleep at the wheel when I'm not in a car.

Paul Dumbass.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 12:28

I have learned from life that it is only backs and white lefties that are racist. They ani't has smart as us southern folks.

Paul Dumbass.

By: dargent7 on 2/1/13 at 12:42

The Republican platform will not change for te next 50 years.
No gun control...
No sex education, condom distribution...
No contraception....
No teaching of Evolution in schools...
No to Climate change...
No to a half white, half black President...
No to Universal Health care...
No to a "pre-existing condition"....
No to Foodstamps and any form of government assisstence....
No to abortion on demand...
No to immigrant rights, amnest....y
Close down Planned Parenthood...
Shut down PBS tv...
Yes to more guns everywhere. Arm Middle School Principals. And the janitors.
Yes to whatever te NRA has to say...
Yes to tax cuts for the rich and wealth...
Yes to any and every war conceived by false "intel"...doesn't matter as long as we "win".
Let's all pretend it'sstill the 1950's and "Ozzie and Harriet", "Donna Reed", and "Leave it to Beaver" is how we all live.
Repubs either change their tune, sell out, or change.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 1:01

dargent7,

Where in the Constitution does it give the government the right to take from one citizen by taxing them and giving it to another citizen who's too damn lazy to work?

Civilized people use human nature to help their neighbors. The government doesn't know what human nature is.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 1:23

"Toure, I've seen hate up close. I know what it looks like. I've felt its hand on my skin, seen the look in its eyes, felt the burn of its words. It is deliberate and it is real. Racism in not disliking our black President because of his socialist leanings. Racism is the scar I carried near my lip for decades after one particularly harsh punch in the mouth from a kid screaming 'N*GGER!' at me while swinging away. Racism is the guy in the diner, the hoses and dogs turned on folks from grandparents' generation just looking to drink at a decent water fountain. When you accuse a person of racism, THAT is the legacy of hate you are laying at their feet. It's every bit as heinous as accusing someone of being a child molester arbitrarily. When you accuse Mitt Romney ad other conservatives like me of being racist based on no other proof besides the fact that we vehemently disagree with this President and his policies, you dilute the history and experiences of people like me. You cheapen that word n*gger. You rob it of its true horror - a horror we should never forget or take for granted. Not only that, Toure; but you cheapen yourself. You make it clear to blacks like me that you, indeed have no clue in hell what real racism is or where it can be found." - Kira Davis

By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 1:34

Dargent7...........It would not surprise me to see Republicans saying "no" to the culture of the underclass as well.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 1:40

"The right to do something doesn't mean it's the right thing to do." - Michael Steele

"If you are explaining, you are losing." - J.. Watts

"When caring for your neighbor becomes a compulsory obligation imposed by government instead of voluntary, charity turns to confiscation and freedom to achieve to involuntary servitude. To liberals, compassion seems to be defined by how many people are dependent on the government; to conservatives, it's defined by how many people no longer need help. One promotes dependence, the other freedom, responsibility and achievement."
- Star Parker

"Since the social victim has been oppressed by society, he becomes to feel that his individual life will be improved more by changes in society than by his own initiative. Without realizing it, he makes society rather than himself the agent of change. The power he finds in his victimization may lead him to collective action against society, but it also encourages passivity within the sphere of his personal life." - Shelby Steele

By: Mike Burch on 2/1/13 at 1:53

There is no doubt what caused the Civil War, since five of the seceding states issued official written statements explaining exactly why they were leaving the Union. Here is an article I wrote on the subject, with direct citations from the official state documents:

http://www.thehypertexts.com/What%20caused%20the%20Civil%20War%20Slavery.htm

By: dargent7 on 2/1/13 at 2:05

yogi @ 1:01pm..."Human Nature"?
Without a Congressional body making laws this country would of destroyed itself 50 years ago.
America is nothing but lawlessness.
Likete "legal" practices of Wall Street, Big banks, Insurance Cos.?
They fleece and rip off the common man every day.
Sure. There are many, "47%" who don't want to work and live off Foodstamps and gov't assistance.
But, at the top of the food chain, Corp. CEO's make millions off of middle America.
Fom defective products, rip-offs, mortgage lending.
Without oversight, Hooker Chemical would still be pouring orange runoff into lakes and streams.
Cigarettes would still be in the "healthfood" isle .The list is endless.

By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 2:12

I cannot imagine slavery but then again I cannot imagine allowing anyone berween the age of 21 and 65 who does not pay any federal income being allowed to vote either.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:38

By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 2:12
I cannot imagine slavery but then again I cannot imagine allowing anyone berween the age of 21 and 65 who does not pay any federal income being allowed to vote either.

Now I find this hard to believe, Raspy old boy. You imagine everything else, including your wealth. So why is this so hard to believe?

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 2:45

dargent7,

The government has already destroyed the nation our founders originated.

A few more:

"Good motives aside, white condescension does more damage than good. White condescension says to a black child, 'The rules used by other ethnic groups don't apply to you. Forget about work hard, get an education, posses good values. No, for you, we'll alter the rules by lowering the standards and expecting less.' Expect less, get less." - Larry Elder

"I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights." - Clarence Thomas

"The best way to help your neighbor is not to live off your neighbor." - Alfonzo Rachel

"They said that I had sold our and (am an) Uncle Tom. And I said well, they deserve to have that view. But I have my thoughts. And I think they're race-hustling poverty pimps."
- J.C. Watts

"The problem isn't that Johnny can't read. The problem isn't even that Johnny can't think. The problem is that Johnny doesn't know what thinking is; he confuses it with feeling."
- Thomas Sowell

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:45

Racism has been an integral component of American culture since its founding upon the genocide of Native Americans, and the forced slavery of Africans and Afro-Americans.

VINCENT F. ROCCHIO,

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:56

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. ~Dennis Leary

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:57

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:57

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race. ~Bill Cosby

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 2:58

Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious. ~Bill Maher

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:06

When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression. ~Jesse Jackson

Be nice to whites, they need you to rediscover their humanity. ~Desmond Tutu

The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box. As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:06

Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:15

I have never rejected my bigotry, I hate racist people.

Captain Nemo-

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 3:15

"It's often said that the Democrats fight 'for the little guy.' That's true; liberals fight to make sure the little guy stays little! Think about it. What if all the little guys were to prosper and become big guys? Then what? Who would liberals pretend to fight for? If the bamboozlers fight for anything, it's to ensure that the little guy stays at those nasty conservatives who are holding him down." - Angele McGlowan

"We might think of dollars as being 'certificates of performance.' The better I serve my fellow man, the higher the value he places on that service, the more certificates of performance he gives me. The more certificates I earn, the greater my claim on the goods my fellow man produces, he must first serve him."

"We've become a culture where earning money doesn't entitle you to it, but wanting it does. That is the essence of redistribution." - Ken Blackwell

"Here's Williams' roadmap out of poverty: Complete high school; get a job, any kind of job; get married before having children; and be a law-abiding citizen. Among both black and white Americans so described, the poverty rate is in the single digits."
- Walter Williams

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:26

Ann Coulter Says, “Our Blacks Are Better Than Their’s”

When comparing Herman Cain to President Barack Obama, Coultier made a statement that could have been made by a slave owner. Does the Republican party own “Blacks” and what exactly makes your “Blacks” better than African-American Democrats? Her statement was both racist and condescending.

Pat Buchanan Says, “Blacks Bought A Lot Of Propaganda On The Liberal Plantation.”

Making a slavery reference to justify why African Americans support Democrats, Buchanan used language also parroted by Black republicans, Allen West and Herman Cain, comparing modern day African Americans to slaves who weren’t allowed or empowered to make their own political decisions.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:28

NYPD Officers Call “[West Indian Carnival Goers Are] Savages, Animals,” And Says, “[Someone Should] Drop A Bomb And Wipe Them All Out.”

NYPD officers complained about West Indian Day Carnival duty in Brooklyn on Facebook and then disparaged, belittled, and dehumanized them, despite the fact that the NYPD fired more shots on the day of the parade than any paradegoer.

High School Coach Calls Black Player a “Future Welfare Recipient”

Not only did Derek Howard insult a Black player by calling him a “future welfare recipient,” but he also allegedly bullied the student repeatedly. Luckily, the young athlete captured Howard insulting him on camera.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:30

Teacher Calls Black First Graders “Future Criminals”

Jennifer O’Brien has been suspended from her job as a Paterson, N.J., first grade teacher, after she made a post on her blog referring to her African-American and Latino students as “future criminals.”

Rush Limbaugh Calls Obama “Oreo Cookie”

Rush Limbaugh decided to mock President Obama’s biracial heritage by calling him an Oreo cookie on his talk show:

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:32

Republican Calls Obama A “Tar Baby”

Republican congressman Doug Lamborn of Colorado said that working with President Obama on the debt ceiling was like “touching a tar baby.” Perhaps he was not familiar that “tar baby” is considered a racial slur.

Rush Limbaugh Accuses Michelle Obama Of “Uppityism”

After Michelle Obama was booed at a NASCAR event, Limbaugh defended the booers, saying that they booed her because she’s uppity. “Uppity” was a word used by racists during Jim Crow to describe African Americans who didn’t know their place.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:34

Soccer Star John Terry Calls Player “Black N-Word”

John Terry, an English soccer player for Chelsea, called Anton Ferdinand, a player of African descent, a “Black N-Word” in a game after the two got into a disagreement. Terry is currently being charged with making a “racially aggravated public order offense.”

Republican Says Blacks Are In Prison Because They Don’t Want To Study

Sally Kern, a Republican state senator from Oklahoma, said that the reason African-American males are in prison is because they don’t want to study in school:

We have a high percentage of blacks in prison, and that’s tragic, but are they in prison just because they are black or because they don’t want to study as hard in school? I’ve taught school, and I saw a lot of people of color who didn’t study hard because they said the government would take care of them.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 3:34

Well, dumba$$, I believe you'll find the Republicans black Americans instead of African-Americans as in the Democrat party. That, sir (as I use the term loosely) makes a difference.

By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 3:37

NEMO, you buffoon! Thinking of you as a school teacher is like thinking of Charles Manson as a Priest.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:39

When the Republican fades into the darkness, their last words will be; “Usurpers”. Coming from a dried old idiot.