Burch: Revenge of the rubes

Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 10:05pm
By Michael R. Burch

In movies like “Revenge of the Nerds,” the restive malcontents just want to be able to party and make out with attractive partners, like the alpha males and females. But Tennessee’s currently playing “Revenge of the Rubes” is much darker and far less likely to result in anyone having a good time for very long, even the social elites. (Need I mention the obvious, such as global warming, nation-bankrupting wars in the Middle East or first-graders being killed by hails of bullets fired from super-lethal military-style weapons?)

The rubes are angry — very angry — and like the Incredible Hulk, they are not at all likeable when they’re angry.

These are some of the things that frighten the rubes and make them so very angry: facts, science, logic, reason, people with darker skin, presidents with funny-sounding names, gays, feminists, liberals, union workers, atheists, agnostics and Muslims.

Now, like sharks when blood is present, the rubes are turning on their own kind. Take, for example, Lamar Alexander, who outshines Marsha Blackburn and Diane Black the way the sun eclipses the moon (by which I mean the dark side). The rubes dearly love Blackburn and Black because they vote in line with Republican positions an astounding 99 percent of the time. But Alexander, being a thinking man rather than an ideologue, has voted in concert with President Obama’s positions 62 percent of the time. To the rubes, that’s like Luke Skywalker going over to the Dark Side of the Force. So now they’re scheming to get rid of Alexander in the next election, in order to replace him with another political zombie.

Never mind that President Obama is correct in his political positions far more often than the increasingly intolerant and fascist GOP. The rubes have no interest in who is actually doing the right things according to human wisdom, because they are guided by faith, not reason. So they “know” that evolution is a lie; that global warming is a hoax; that stricter gun control is the path to totalitarianism; that every human pregnancy is ordained by an all-wise God; and that homosexuality incurs the wrath of God, and thus explains hurricanes and other natural disasters.

People who are overwhelmed by irrational fears seldom make the best possible choices. Now here in Tennessee we have hordes of hyperkinetic Chicken Littles running around fearfully clucking that the sky is falling, when in reality it is their childish fears of nonexistent monsters in the closet that present the greatest danger to our rights and liberty. If, for example, one citizen has the right to carry assault weapons wherever he pleases, with enough ammo to take out an entire school or theater, that more than obviously infringes on the rights of concerned mothers and fathers to know that their children are not being turned into targets in a shooting gallery.

If we see sane, reasonable leaders like Lamar Alexander being replaced by more irrational people like Black and Blackburn, we should not be surprised when the inevitable happens, and Tennessee continues its slide back toward the Dark Ages. If we want progress, it’s time to send the political rubes back to their farms, or better yet to the Funny Farm for some serious counseling.

[Note: After I submitted the article above to The City Paper, Marsha Blackburn almost immediately made me seem like a prophet by challenging President Obama to a skeet-shooting contest. At a time when the nation is still mourning the loss of 20 precious first-graders and the six courageous educators who died trying to defend them from yet another mad gunslinger, Tennessee’s “Ms. Inappropriate” wants to prove to the world that she can wreak more destruction on clay pigeons. Rather than trying to put an end to the carnage, she intends to wow the rubes and the NRA by demonstrating that she can out-shoot the opposition. Unbelievable.]

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

135 Comments on this post:

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:42

"stop being the stupid party"

Governor Bobby Jindal

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 3:43

"Weighing benefits against costs is the way most people make decisions -- and the way most businesses make decisions, if they want to stay in business. Only in government is any benefits, however small, considered to be worth any costs, however large."
- Thomas Sowell

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:44

It is you imagination, Raspy old boy. You can do with it as you please. LOL

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 3:48

Raspy old boy, with people like you and your mental equal yogi, the GOP is doomed. That is too bad to, because they did have their usefulness at one time.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 3:58

Sorry, dumba$$, but I'm not a GOPer. And knowing you to be a dumbolcrapper in the Democrat party, I sure wouldn't want to be in that one either.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:00

Once again yogi, you are wrong. I never said I was a Democrat or a Republican. You count two and two and come up a zero.

By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 4:15

NEMO, tell us about your school teaching experience? I bet you taught african/american studies at an all white school in Scarsdale, New York.

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 4:17

The question keeps coming back; Why is Obama making the efforts he is to bankrupt this nation?

Could it be he could then place us under Marshal law? Could he then suspend the Constitution and take over as dictator?

Could that be the reason for his Executive Order on October 26, 2012?

Could that be the reason he is forming his "back yard" army and reducing the numbers of our regular services? Could that be why he is working so hard to let the UN take our guns?

LTG William "Jerry" Boykin (Ret.) put it very bluntly: "The situation in America could be such that marital law is actually warranted, and that situation in my view could occur if we had a economic collapse."

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:20

I don’t know who you have me mixed up with this time Raspy old boy. But it just thrills me to know that you have no idea who I am…but I know you. LOL

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:28

GOP Is The Food Stamp Party

It's a well-known irony that states that tend to vote Republican -- the party that constantly raves about the "makers" and trolls the "takers" -- generally take in more tax money than they pay out.

The 10 highest tax-producing states have all been "blue states" over the last few presidential elections. Of the 10 lowest, eight are "red." Even within states, Democratic-leaning counties tend to consume fewer services for the tax money they contribute than red counties do -- even though Democratic areas generally include large urban populations.
Bloomberg recently compiled U.S. Department of Agriculture data and found that, "70 percent of counties with the fastest growth in food-stamp aid during the last four years voted for the Republican presidential candidate in 2008."

Drudge Retort-


By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:33

Good riddance.

GOP problem: 'Their voters are white, aging and dying off'


By: Rasputin72 on 2/1/13 at 4:38

NEMO, If you are not Rat Nemovitz then you must be George Washington Lincoln Smith.

I for a moment gave thought to your being Rastus (chicken neck) Cook. I thought better of it h9wever when I remembered Chicken that " Neck" killed himself playing russian roulette.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:42

You are still walking in the dark old boy. Maybe I should call No Clue Raspy.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 4:47

I for a moment gave thought to your being Rastus (chicken neck) Cook. I thought better of it h9wever when I remembered Chicken that " Neck" killed himself playing russian roulette.

What kind of grammar is this? Something a upper class rube talk?

What is a h9wever?

By: yogiman on 2/1/13 at 5:39

Wait until you become an expert before you condemn, dumba$$. And I'm afraid that will never be unless you consider yourself an expert idiot.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/1/13 at 6:17

That is your expertise yogi. You are the expert idiot. LOL

By: Ask01 on 2/2/13 at 7:26

I read an interesting letter Friday, I believe it was, in which the writer pointed out the self destructive, if not outright insanity of many GOP supporters.

The focus of the letter was how many citizens who benefit from such GOP labeled "evils" as Social Security, Medicare, and other federal programs are the very ones who most rabidly support Republicans.

Yet, these same devotees would be the first to squeal like a stuck pig were their benefits taken or reduced.

Reading this, I chuckled as I thought of Mike's article, and how the 'rubes' have what they always wanted: a Republican Utopia.

I cannot help but wonder how soon the honeymoon will be over?

After all, the Democrats have been marginalized by a Republican 'supermajority' so, any blame for Tennessee's problems must be laid directly on the Republican doorstep.

All I can say to the rubes, Republicans, and right wingers is, "Impress me, if you can. You are solely to blame for all the state's ills now."

By: budlight on 2/2/13 at 7:39

GOP - symbol - elephant.

DEMs - donkey - aka JackA$$. sounds about right to me! and the dems picked the jacka$$, now didn't they? Self-fulfilled prophesy, I'd say.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/2/13 at 8:19

GOP -symbol-budlight-yogiman-Rasputin. They got what they wanted.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/2/13 at 8:26

bud it is a Donkey, not a jackass. So that makes a jackass out of you.

By: Captain Nemo on 2/2/13 at 8:37

btw bud to farther your education. Both animal are not native to the American soil. I think that is odd.

By: yogiman on 2/2/13 at 8:50

Aren't you awake yet, dumba$$? It's hard to figure out what you're trying to "say".

By: Ask01 on 2/2/13 at 9:06

Good morning, Captain Nemo.

Your 8:19 post, with it's Frankenstein worthy image of a composite mascot for the GOP has produced a disturbing mental picture.

I believe if such was actually the symbol, the party would wither and die.

By: yogiman on 2/2/13 at 9:25

An interesting youtube. Anyone have an answer? www.youtube.com/?v=m4WsG9H8eh0/

By: Captain Nemo on 2/2/13 at 9:34

Hello Ask01

As you can see, yogi attempt to be annoying is a good example of the Republicans demise. He can't even get his insults to mean anything. His mental illness and that of Raspy has made the GOP a very sick elephant, with the runs. This is just sad, because the party has been of use to the country.

By: yogiman on 2/2/13 at 10:14

Ever read Obama's autobiography "Deams from My Father"? listen to a few comments made from it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=I177cU3jsFs&NR=1/ Try it, you might like it.

By: Ask01 on 2/2/13 at 7:44

The latest issue of TIME magazine, (Feb 11, 2013) contains an excellent commentary written by Michael Grunwald which outlines the desperation of the Republican party and the long, steep, broad road they must navigate if they wish to ever again matter in national politics. I say broad, because they must shed the blinders they have donned ans expand not only their narrow view, but their narrow minds as well.

Th author points out the failure of the party to properly evaluate and target the changing demographics of the nation. Additionally noted is the fact that the party has failed to change with the times. Most entertaining to me, at least, was the recounting of some of the last elections campaign mistakes, including demonizing gays, making absurd comments about human physiology, and portraying 47% of the country as slackers and moochers.

I mention and recommend the article as it dovetails nicely into Mike Burch's article. If the Republican party continues to pander to the fringe element, ignore their own moderates, and discount the all powerful swing voters, they could marginalize themselves out of national prominence if not existence.

Tennesseans are not actually stupid or mentally incapable of learning. They, or at least their offspring, will learn and demonstrate the ability to advance and join the rest of the world.

By: yogiman on 2/3/13 at 7:01

Some great "differently designed" mail boxes. I think the last one should be placed in front of the White House.


By: Captain Nemo on 2/3/13 at 9:34

Hello Ask01, if you are out there. Rasputin and especially yogi are prim examples of Republican failure to come to grips with an ever changing world. Both relish the old days of the South, when the white man was master. With the emergence of Obama as leader, there realization that this time is over for their type. No longer will the white man rule all alone

Realizing the demise of the white alpha male, they make their last stand in the most shameful and embarrassing way by clinging to one thought. Their inability to adapt will make the change most difficult for all. Especially for there own kind.

By: Ask01 on 2/3/13 at 10:01

Good morning Captain Nemo.

You are 100% correct.

So many cling stubbornly to idealized, romanticized, and often fictionalized perceptions of the past, they refuse to accept history is cyclic and demographics ever changing.

If we rewind about 600 years, I am certain the indigenous people of the America's believed they were perfectly secure in their dominance of their lands. The Native Americans inhabiting the lands comprising North America probably could not conceive of the world as it is today, totally changed.

Likewise the Mayan and Incan cultures.

Retreating further into the past, we can recognize now the migration of population centers and cultures across Europe, Asia, Africa and the Middle East. 1000, 2000 years ago, the world looked much different.

Sadly for the troglodytes of today, societal changes develop much faster and they have the misfortune to live at a time point where change is happening on their watch, as it were, and they are truly frightened.

I would be lying if I claimed a total lack of apprehension as I witness the changes, but these are natural events. They have occured long before we were here, and will continue long after our bones have been excavated for display in a musuem dedicated to ancient burial practices in the mid 21st century.

In short, not something I do well, the face of America is changing. You can either accept the fact and be part of the evolution, or retreat into a cave and become another evolutionary dead end.

Have a wonderful Sunday Captain Nemo. I found an excellent recipe for pork cutlets in a tomato caper sauce with onions, garlic and olives I want to try, and much do some shopping.

Til later.

By: yogiman on 2/3/13 at 10:21

You guys are great comedians. I can't wait to see your reactions if Barry gets to fulfill his move to become dictator.

Why is he in the process so hard to bankrupt our nation and place it under marshal law?

By: Rasputin72 on 2/3/13 at 11:57

ASKO1..........There is one thing that has never changed since the beginning of mankind.

Let the big dog eat!

By: Captain Nemo on 2/3/13 at 2:16

By: Rasputin72 on 2/3/13 at 11:57
ASKO1..........There is one thing that has never changed since the beginning of mankind.

Let the big dog eat!


Someday I will be a big dog.

By: Ask01 on 2/3/13 at 8:19

You know, Captain Nemo, I grew up in a small town, and spent a lot of time in the country while growing up.

Many times, big dogs, and even small dogs, dreaming of being big dogs, that got out of hand were shot to protect the community. Particularly when they started killing chickens and other animals.

My grandfather killed two big boxers which had wrought havoc on his poultry. In those days, when courts wouldn't have even entertained the notion of a lawsuit in a case where the animals were clearly out of control, killed amidst henhouse carnage, not a single word was said.

I think the big dogs need to be careful, don't you?

Have a great evening. Morning comes awfully early in my nieghborhood

By: Rasputin72 on 2/3/13 at 9:20

ASSOI..........The odds are always in favor of the big dog especially when he is also the smartest dog on the block.

I understand however that the "dog" population in general votes for their welfare because they are unable to earn or they are unwilling to earn it.