Wilder on Wine: Let them buy corkscrews

Wine accoutrements, such as cork screws, cannot be sold at wine or liquor stores according to Tennessee laws.

In the normal course of a day at the wine retail store where I work, we often hear the same questions asked many times over.

However, the single most-asked question doesn't pertain to the difference between Pinot Gris and Pinot Grigio, or which wine should be drunk with what food. It's more along the lines of “Do you sell corkscrews/tonic water/glassware?”

When we hear this question, our faces tense up a bit, a little sigh unconsciously escapes, and we mentally prepare ourselves to inform this poor, unsuspecting person that no, we cannot, and that they will have to make one, if not several, more stops before enjoying their relaxing beverage.

And because simply saying "no" is an insufficient reply, as it would only seem natural that a store selling wine and other alcoholic beverages would also sell the accessories required to actually consume them, we must then draw this innocent wine consumer into the disorientating bizarro world that is Tennessee liquor laws.

Ninety percent of the time, the inquisitive consumer responds to the discovery that we cannot sell anything under 6.33 percent alcohol (including objects that are not even beverages) in a similar way: “Are they afraid I'm going to open/pour/mix a drink on the way out to my car?!”

While it's easy to think that this separation of intoxicants-and-accessories (not to mention lower alcohol beers) must be linked to some sort of antiquated Blue Law, it's not that simple. Several northern states have similar systems, while other states in the Bible Belt will let you buy your booze wherever you want (and in some places even on… [gasp] Sunday!). The Tennessee system is based on a distribution of the industry between different types of businesses.

To be honest, although I've been working in wine stores for a while now, I still fail to see the logic behind it. Many others are questioning it as well, in particular the grocery store lobby. In other states, retailers like Whole Foods, Target, Costco and, of course, Trader Joe’s (home of the infamous Charles ‘Two-Buck Chuck’ Shaw wine) do a huge business with wine sales, and want their Tennessee locations to be able to partake. Legislation has been put forward several times over the last few years, and has been defeated every time, maintaining the segregated status quo.

Naturally, wine in the grocery stores would hurt the business of most wine retailers, especially those who make most of their income through the sale of mass-marketed wines. Yet, even though I work in a retail store, I am for a more inclusive system if it would allow liquor stores greater freedom to conduct their business as they wish. States that have wine in grocery stores still have specialty wine stores that do quite well.

Over Christmas break, I was in Florida and found myself in the wine aisle at Publix. It was an overwhelming yet thoroughly underwhelming experience. The selections were predictable, mostly mediocre bottles, tightly crammed in side-by-side so as to make browsing somewhat dizzying. I would never buy a case there, and settled on something I'd had before, because there was no one to actually ask about any of the wines.

Real wine lovers will always do the vast majority of their wine shopping in a real wine store, provided the store offers an experience above and beyond the long, lonely aisle of bulk wine at the supermarket.

A loosening of the grip of our current laws would also help retailers. If we were allowed to pour samples in the store, we could sell so many of those interesting, esoteric wines that are a huge gamble for customers to buy if they have no idea what they'll taste like (apart from our always on-point verbal descriptions, of course). Also, it would be great to be able to sell wine accoutrements, from glasses and corkscrews to books and magazines.

Although it doesn't seem like it will happen anytime soon, we can hope that maybe one day retailers and grocers alike will have the freedom to sell whatever they want in their stores.

Questions? Comments? E-mail Wilder at wilderonwine@gmail.com